Oh so long ago

It doesn't seem possible that it has been forty four years ago that I was a shy, petite, 13 year old little girl entering high school. How grown up I thought I was! I was raised as the oldest of four girls, so I probably was a little more mature than my peers that had older siblings. And even more responsibility was put on me a year later when my dad died. My mom was a widow at the tender age of 32, with four girls to finish raising. It must have seemed so overwhelming to her at the time, and she didn't handle it well. It now fell on me at the age of 14 to look after my siblings, with the youngest being a 12 month old baby. If I wanted to go on a date when I turned 15, I had to take my littlest sister with us. By the time I turned 16, it was no wonder that I felt ready to marry my high school sweetheart, and take on my own home. I had already done it for two years. We started our own family two years later, when I gave birth to my son at the age of 18. For many, many years afterwards, I grew to resent my mom for all that she put on my shoulders, while she was taking the credit for having raised such good girls. It has only been the past 12 years or so, that I began realizing just how 'lost' my mom must have been when dad passed away. I have forgiven her for what I saw at the time as a burden. I put myself in her shoes, and asked myself, "would I have handled the situation any different if I ever found myself there?" None of us can say what we would do. We don't know unless we are ever put there.

My dad was the only man my mom had ever been with from the time she was 14 years old. She depended on him a lot since he was nine years older than her. I quit judging my mom a long time ago for all of the things she didn't do, and began recognizing the things she did do. It might not have been a whole lot, but I'm sure she did the best she could or knew how to at the time. She has a good heart, and shows it the way she knows how. For that, we will spend Sunday celebrating my mom and showing her appreciation . We all make mistakes, but I see no reason to make a person spend the rest of their lives begging forgiveness. I value the time I have with my mom and I want her to know how loved she is!

I finished the shawl I was working on for a friend's birthday, and gave it to her when we met for lunch this past week. She was very pleased with it, and it was exactly what she had requested to pair up with her summer dresses on those summer evenings when you need just a little something over your shoulders. I chose the Traveling Woman pattern, and used Alpaca with a Twist, which is an alpaca/silk blend. What beautiful yarn! I used it double stranded in order to get gauge on a size 6 (US) needle. This was a very fun knit and I would definitely knit it again!

I also finished a couple of dishcloths for my mom. I have her so spoiled...she won't use anything but my handknit ones now. lol I will have to share pics of those later as I'm working on my third one for her and will just photograph them all together when I'm done with however many I decide to make her.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, and that the weather in your corner of the world is going to be beautiful!