Life is a blessing

Putting others needs, feelings, and wants, has always been my modus operandi ever since I can remember. I've been thinking a lot about that lately, and I think it might have something to do with having been raised as the oldest child, as well as grandchild in my family. I still hear my grandparents and my parents saying, "since you're the oldest, you have to be a good example for your sisters and cousins." To me, that translated as having to take care of them, making sure they didn't get hurt, and helping them if they did. We are all grown up now and those "responsibilities" have carried over into my adult life.

My husband has a younger brother, who has been very ill for the past three years. When he became ill, the doctors gave him less than a year to live, but with the perseverance of his wife, and my father-in-law, he has survived well beyond those expectations. He can no longer breathe on his own, and more times than not, he has no idea what day of the week it is, where he's at in his own home (which room?), and whether or not he has to use the bathroom or blow his nose. He requires 24/7 care, which has drained my sister-in-law to the point of where her own health is now in jeopardy. This woman has been a pillar of monumental strength, but she has told me that when she does find the time to get some sleep or take care of other things around their home (five acres), she has her moments where all she can do is cry. And all I can do is wrap my arms around her and say a prayer.

They live a couple of states away from us, so we try our best to visit every chance we get, about every four months, and each time, we wonder if it will be our last time to see my brother-in-law. Chris and I feel so helpless, but his wife tells us thank you all the time for just being there when she needs to talk on the phone. It's funny how people react in situations such as this. They live in a fairly small town, the kind where everybody knows everybody, and yet, none, and I mean none, of their friends visit or call them anymore. I suspect it might be because they are afraid to see him so sick and they aren't sure what to say. They want to remember him as "good time Steve". That's all well and good, but I can't understand none of them offering my sister-in-law any help. There is always something to be done on those five acres, especially as winter draws close each year. My brother-in-law retired from UPS as their only mechanic in their town. He built a huuuuge garage where he did work on the side, usually bartered. Sometimes he even did work on these so called friends' cars just out of the goodness of his heart, and now, when his wife needs help, they have all disappeared. I just can't wrap my head around it, but when we visit, we try to get as much done as we can, and I take my sister-in-law away from it all. Sometimes, we just go shopping, and other times, I treat her to a pedicure and lunch out. She has become a prisoner in her own home, and the older sister in me just wants to make it all better for her.

Last summer, when Steve was able to travel, we met them over on the Oregon coast for vacation. I thought there might be at least some cool evenings, but mornings were quite chilly too. I was so glad I took my Easy Folded Poncho by Churchmouse Yarns and Teas! It was the perfect accessory, and my sister-in-law loved it so much. She asked me to make her one, but I just haven't gotten around to doing it. I haven't been in the mood for all of that stockinette stitch. We will be visiting them again very soon, and I decided I would like to take her a gift. While I was at Stitches West this past February, I saw a woman who I think works for Webs, wearing a lovely cowl she had knit. Looking back, I think it might have been the designer herself. I loved the pattern so much, I bought it, with the intention of spinning the yarn for it. I remembered this pattern yesterday, and decided it would be perfect for my sister-in-law. I wanted something she could personally wear, something that wrapped around her a little for some comfort. Knitting or crocheting her something for their home, such as coasters or something, just seems too small and  impersonal to say "I'm praying for you", or "thank you for your hospitality when we visit". I think this will be the perfect gift knitted from Swan's Island dk weight. Such lovely soft, and squishy yarn!! I chose the color called Verdigris, and started on it yesterday while my grandkids were in the pool. It was very hot out, but I was able to resist jumping in with them, so I could knit instead. This picture doesn't show an accurate color of the yarn, but I'm hoping when I finish it and get more pics, it will then. The Hudson Lace Cowl so far, is a very enjoyable pattern to knit!

It's always fun watching my grandkids playing and having such a great time!!

Watching my 13 year old granddaughter play with her two much younger brothers yesterday, I'm now convinced those 'caretaking' instincts just come naturally after all. To my knowledge, no one has ever told her it's her "responsibility" as the oldest sibling in their lives, to take care of them, or to see to it that their needs and wants get met. She just does it, and she does it well! 

I do have other news, such as spinning, reading, and some gardening, but this post grew longer than I originally intended it to, so I'm going to leave it as is until next time....enjoy your day and count your blessings! :)